niedziela, 23 kwietnia 2017

Protect what matters with everything you have, or you’ll have nothing, and deserve it. [vol.2]

I got my heavy heart to hold me down
Once it falls apart, my head's in the clouds
So I'm taking every chance I got
Like the man I know I'm not


Willow MacDougall
nekromantka. 23 lata. Gildia.
there's nothing to fear.
bucket list.


Skoro jest przyzwyczajona do śmierci, to dlaczego budzi się z krzykiem niemal każdej nocy? Dlaczego regularnie odwiedza psychiatrę? Dlaczego dostaje ataków paniki w środku dnia? Dlaczego wspomnienia powracają tak żywo? Dlaczego słyszy krzyki, czuje krew, i strach? Jak gdyby znowu była zatrzaśnięta w tamtej starej, dębowej szafie.
Skoro nie miała złego dzieciństwa to dlaczego teraz patrzy na innych z zazdrością? Dlaczego zazdrości im, że mogli się spotykać z osobami w swoim wieku? Dlaczego oni mogli wychodzić do kina, a ona nie? Dlaczego frustruje ją fakt, że nie potrafi nawet obsłużyć pralki? Dlaczego dawała sobie wmówić, że opanowanie trzech języków martwych jest bardziej istotne niż gotowanie? Jak gdyby całe życie była zamknięta w złotej klatce, dopiero po opuszczeniu jej zauważyła, że tkwiła w więzieniu.

Woli się złościć, niż przyznać, że czegoś nie rozumie. Gdy myśli, że nikt jej nie słyszy to z kimś zawzięcie dyskutuje w pustym pomieszczeniu. Wolne chwile poświęca rozwiązywaniu sudoku, a także zagadki wszechświata. Ściany jej pokoju są pokryte papierami wypełnionymi notatkami w dziwnych językach, magicznymi kręgami, glyfami i zaskakująco szczegółowymi szkicami organów ludzkich, nieludzkich i zwierzęcych. Chciałaby umieć gotować, móc pójść z kimś do kina, albo do kawiarni, albo zrobić jakąś inną normalną rzecz, która przystaje komuś w jej wieku. Jeżeli tylko dowie się co jej przystaje.
Uśmiecha się rzadko, wręcz nigdy. Prawdziwe szczęście odczuwa tylko wtedy, gdy ma okazję rozerwać inną żywą istotę na strzępy. Co przeraża ją chyba jeszcze bardziej niż koszmary nawiedzające ją co noc.


Sometimes when we wake up, we can’t be put back to sleep.



[wiecie czego nam tu było trzeba? tsundere z PTSD.
po raz kolejny gdzieś pochowałam informacje.
niech ją ktoś nauczy robić pranie, plz.
dla śmieszków (i ewentualnych wątków *wink, wink*) polecam kliknąć w "bucket list."]



credits:
art: dr-grizscald
tytuł: Aveline z Dragon Age II
cytaty: Panic! At the Disco Turn Off the Lights
Fringe (s01e17)



26 komentarzy:

  1. Roześmiał się serdecznie i omal tego nie pożałował. Żebra odezwały mu się wówczas delikatnym bólem. Odetchnął głęboko, krzywiąc się przy tym nieco.
    - Weź mnie kobieto tak nie rozśmieszaj – poprosił ją raczej wesołym tonem. – No raczej przytulać się podczas walki nie będziemy – zgodził się z nią, jakoś nie mogąc sobie tego wyobrazić. – Choć buziaka od czasu do czasu można by dać – dodał zaraz ochoczo. Jakoś tak wciąż nie mógł jej tego odpuścić. Nie zdołał się nacieszyć tymi słodkimi wargami, ich miękkością.
    - A po robocie pójdziemy na piwo i będziemy tańczyć do jakiejś kiepskiej muzyki. Mimo to wszystko nam będzie jedno – dodał zaraz jakoś tak potrafiąc to sobie wyobrazić i już czując ją obok siebie. Zadowoloną z dobrze wykonanej roboty i szczęśliwą bo są razem. On sam również czuł to szczęście.

    Ray

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  2. [i decided to answer in Polish as I still feel more confident in it and as I was reading your story I thought „shit… she knows how to write it and I don’t… fuck it.” I need to read more English books then :P]

    Znów się roześmiał i przez długą chwilę nie potrafił tego przerwać. Śmiał się w głos, czując że zaraz tego pożałuje, ale co miał zrobić, kiedy dziewczyna nieświadomie doprowadzała go do tego stanu? No co? A potem poczuł kłujący ból w piersi i zgiął się w pół, krzywiąc mocno. Śmiech zamienił się w kilka słonych łez, ale potrzebował tylko kilku głębokich oddechów by się uspokoić.
    - You got it girl. They surely would distract me – przyznał jej spokojnie. – But you? I don’t think you would ever be distracted by them. You are too professional to be – złapał ją za rękę i przyciągnął do siebie, zdziwiony jak łatwo mu poszło. Kiedy tylko znalazła się obok niego, złączył ich usta w pocałunku, obserwując ją przy tym uważnie. W jej oczach malowało się zdziwienie i przerażenie jednocześnie. Z pewnością myślała o tym co sobie inni pomyślą o takich akcjach, ale co go to obchodziło? Miał się ukrywać z tym co do niej czuje przed całym światem? Dobry żart, doprawdy.
    Pogłębił tylko pocałunek, chcąc by ten trwał jak najdłużej. Smakował jej usta i zapamiętywał ich kształt, miękkość oraz tę perfekcję. Musiał to zapamiętać, bo przecież niedługo mieli się rozstać. Niby nie na zawsze, ale jednak.
    Odsunął się od niej, gdy zabrakło mu tchu. Dotknął nosem jej nosa i czołem jej czoła. Przymknął na chwilę oczy, czując jej oddech tak blisko siebie. Była tu przy nim, żywa i całkiem czerwona na twarzy. On sam pewnie również miał zarumienione oblicze.
    - I will miss you… so just don’t get yourself in troubles, all right? Just promise me that you will be back, safe and sound…

    Ray

    [Yeah, look who’s talking. He’ll be the one who gets in troubles xDDD ]

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  3. [okay as I don’t have a Polish keyboard here, you will have to bear with my not so great English]

    Ray did not say another word. Silence was what he needed now. No need to do anything. He had this funny feeling inside him that they actually clicked together. He understood her concern and could actually feel her anxiety. He did not want to make overwhelmed with the promises, although his heart wanted her to tell him, she would be back – safe and sound. Nothing else mattered.
    He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it. A smile was the only way he could answer her. It was not the brightest smile ever, but the one that could comfort her. Or at least, that was what he had hoped for.
    ‘You better keep your word, ‘cause I will hunt you if you don’t’
    Just like that. He just wanted to show her that he understands and was here for her. He would wait even until the very last moment, just to see her lovely face and this bright red cheeks. He had fallen in love with this little girl and he did not want to lose it.
    And the eyes... they were hypnotizing him. He could swear that he could look into them all the time and he would never get tired of it.
    ‘I love you’
    Three simple words, a powerful phrase. It has just escaped his mouth and he could not help it. Then he realised what he did and he hid under the cover. He made a mistake. It should stay inside his heart, but he did not have a power to change the time. Oh, how he desired to have one right now...
    ‘I know, don’t comment on it please. I know... sorry’ he mumbled, although he dared not to look into her eyes. He did not want to see her disappointed face and the sorry look in her eyes. ‘Just forget it, please...’

    Ray

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  4. That was rather unfortunate, but expected. She could have thrown tantrums on him. Och well, should he think he was rather lucky then? Not in the slighest. That was not the brightest idea of his, not at all. An heavy sighed escaped his chest and he shrugged his arms, when he saw that Marcus had fixed his eyes on him. Yeah, that didn’t go well.
    ‘Cham such a fool’ he explained to Marcus, when he came to check on his health. ‘Chave no nort, clear and sheer, Marcus. Clear and sheer’ he sighed and then clicked his tongue in disgust. He was disguested with his own actions. Still couldn’t understand what got into him, that he said it. ‘Cham a dawcock, Marcus’
    ‘Dunno, what got into the two of you, but you better make up…and stop talkin’ funny please’ Marcus sighed with disbelief. He could see them both being in love, and now… he had the greatest fun in the world. ‘I guess, you will stay here until the end of the week’
    ‘Thanks, that’s reassuring’ muttered Ray, still in his own thoughts. Idiot, clearly an idiot he was!
    He supposed that she wouldn’t show up in front of him. Not a Chance, right? Not after what he did a couple of minutes ago. Shit! Is she ever gonna talk to him? He surely doubted it, so he wasn’t even surprised when Marcus said that Willow might have been late the next day. He just shrugged his arms and decided not to comment on it.
    ~.~
    And there he was, trying to focus on reading this not so funny books and learn a bit, but his mind wasn’t that much of focus. He was checking on the clock every now and them. Sometimes it was just every 30 seconds. She said she would come, but it was before that horrendous thing.
    And then he had finally saw her, not in the brightest mood and not in the best health either. He got up of his own bed, even though it took a lot of efforts and as fast as he actually could, he found his place next to her.
    ‘What happened? How be on?’ he asked her while he had watched her leg, again clicking his tongue and completely forgeting of himself being a fool. ‘What were you up to, Willow?’ he tried looking into her eyes, which wasn’t easy. She just did not want to allow hi mit. ‘For Godness sake, Willow! Stop behaving as a little child. Ish got it, all right? You not ready at all. Got it, right? Cham a dawcock. Don’t gonna say that again’ he sighed a bit and allowed Marcus do his job, while sitting on the other bed. He had realised that actually his leg was hurting and it was not the pleasant feeling. Not at all.

    Ray

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  5. [Ok, somehow I cannot avoid using HE all the time and I hate it…]

    ‘Poison…’ he mumbled to himself while waiting for Marcus to finish his job. That definitely wasn’t his cup of tea. He wasn’t the most patient person in the world. Not when the person he liked was in the pain, but that was the only thing he could do now, so he gritted his teeth and waited.
    It felt like forever, since he spotted her figure right in front of him. Until now, he did not realised that he was clenching his fist so much. He could see blood on his hands, but he didn’t care. Finally, he took a deep breath and smiled.
    ‘Nothin’ serious… ‘ repeated after her. ‘That’s great… at least you’re alive and you’re here’ he whispered, because that was truly something he treasured. He looked up, trying to catch her gaze, but couldn’t. A bitter laugh escaped his mouth as he got up and slowly proceeded to his own bed.
    ‘Yeah, I know, not the greatest idea ever… as all my ideas are’ he muttered rather to himself than to anyone else. Finally, he could lie down and rest for a bit, though he could not take out his eyes from Willow. It almost felt as if he was some kind of wierdo or even worse – a stalker.
    He had lost her and he knew it the moment she came back to this healer’s room. One, stupid mistake made him realised how much he loved her. He didn’t want them to part, but he wasn’t the one to make a decision about it. Not anymore.
    ‘Willow… take your time, ok? Just… ‘ he wanted to say something, to comfort her, to say that he would wait forever, but he couldn’t. The words could not escape his mouth, leaving him speechless most of the time.
    ‘Nevermind’ he muttered, somehow beated by his own blank mind.

    Ray

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  6. He was listening, he truly was, but with each and every of her word, the anger arose. One more time, he clenched his fists and set his teeth, just to make her finish. Then again, he couldn’t. He couldn’t listen to this words, which just sounded not right. They were cruel, but also somewhat not real. He could feel that she does not mean it at all.
    ‘Cut this crap, will ya?’ he interupted her and looked at her. ‘If you want me to leave, just say so. If you want me to stop carring, say so. But with your eyes fixed on my eyes and stop telling lies, will ya? What you just said… you’re not honest with yourself’ he said coldly, because if he did not, he would not control his voice. Shaky voice.
    ‘I told ya, I’m a fool and I don’t care about your family connection or other stuff. If you need to do something, then do it… there is no need for you to resign from us…’ he gritted his teeth again as if he wanted to add something more but changed his mind. He needed a fresh air and this freaking room was killing him right now.
    ‘I told you, I love you and I mean it. You don’t expect me to forget about it, aye? These are my feelings and what you just said, won’t change a single thing in the way I feel, Willow’ he declared, although it wasn’t that easy. He meant every single word he just said and really… even silly remarks from Marcus would not change it. Or Yensesn… och he was so sure, that the people would talk after all of it.
    He jumped off the bed, although jumping might seem unappropriate to the slow movement he did and walked closer to her and embraced her tightly.
    ‘No matter what you say, I won’t change my feelings Willow. No matter how short will it be, I want you by my side. Not any other girl, but you’

    Ray

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  7. Ray sighed a bit, while tightening the hug. He reminded silent for next coupled of moments, thinking of any possible answer, but none come to his mind. He sighed again and closed his eyes, when he heard her sobbing. Willow was crying in front of him and he had no idea how he should act at that moment. Nobody prepared him and he was almost sure that there is no preparation for such events. Then again she deserved to get an answer. Specially now, when she opened her heart to him.
    'Then I won't leave you. I don't want to move on, Willow. I'm happy with you... well I guess I feel happiness when I am with you' he decided to say, although it was not an easy task. He was still debating with himself if it sound right or maybe just clingy, but his words were already in air. They reached her with all their might. 'I want you to be happy, even though you never meant to be happy. I want to love you and want you to feel loved. I want...' he stopped for a brief moment, thinking again. He was being an egoist now. He surely was, but what else could he do to persuade her? Well, not like he ever managed to do it anyway. 'I just simply want you to think about yourself... even for a brief moment. For your own sake, not mine nor your family, just yours. Do what you believe is right to you, but don't punish yourself, Willow. Don't you dare telling me that you don't deserve the happiness. You do. You have the right to feel it...'

    Ray

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  8. Ray wasn’t sure if he truly could let her go. Not at all. He wasn’t even sure if he could believe her words, but then again… it was her decision, not his, so he closed his eyes and finally let her go, trying not to sway too much. It wasn’t that easy either, but he refused her help. He would reach the bed on his own, or he would fall down on the floor. That were the only only choices. Nothing more. He slowly walked to the bed and rested on it, quite happy that he hadn’t fall down. In the end it was better that way.
    ‘He won’t kick you out’ he whispered, closing his eyes. He was tired, extremaly tired becuase of all the stress he had before. ‘Marcus likes you too much to do it’ he smiled and then in the matter of seconds, he was gone. He simply fell asleep like a baby and he wasn’t even aware of it.

    Ray

    [ok that is a crazy, little shit here. I’m sorry my dear, I will get better. Just am so tired today and am able to kill a few people]

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  9. Ray woke up two hours later, completely beated up. It wasn't the best sleep in his life, nor the worst either. He simply couldn't recall what he had been dreaming about, but when he opened his eyes, that wasn't important anymore. The feeling of insecurity left his body and a smile appeared. She was still here, sleeping with her head resting on some kind of a huge book. He didn't dare to move, 'because he didn't want to wake her up. It was a brief moment, when she looked so peacefully. As if he was watching an angel. Well, yeah... he laughed silently. No, Willow would never become the angel. Even his imagination had protested when the mind stated it. But who cares anyway? He didn't. At least not now, when he could watch her from this little distance. If he wanted he could caress her hair and kiss her forehead.
    And then he did it. As if nothing could prevent him from doing it. He slowly caressed her hair and took her fringe out of her face. Now he could observe her with even bigger smile. Someone could take him for a fool, because he had a beaming smile on his face and he couldn't help it at all. He just simply couldn't and he didn't really care.
    Only when, Marcus shew up, Ray started to care. It wouldn't be the best idea to allow him to say Willow what he was doing. He actually knew that she would kill him if she knew. Oh well... who cares anyway? That would be the nicest death he could think of. Marcus smiled at him and checked his health, just to make sure everything was going all right, then he left again. Ray tired to cover her with his own hoodie, but that hadn't went quite well. She opened her eyes when he tried to do it.
    'Mornin' sleeping beauty' he smiled to her. 'Next time... join me in the bed... it would be more comfortable...'

    Ray

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  10. ‘Well… we could do something about the size of this bed’ he commented, because she could always lie on him, right? Maybe not the best idea, considering his health condition, but well… shit happened.
    ‘No worries, I’m getting used to it’ he smiled a bit. It was truth though. He was getting used to her doubts and panics attacks. It was nothing new to him, but he had yet to learn how to deal with it. It was troublesome in a way, but every time he managed to calm her down, he felt somewhat proud of himself. In a way, he was training his patience thanks to her breaks downs, though he wasn’t happy that she had them. He would much prefered to train his patience on something else. Children for eample, but not her. Not the woman he loved.
    ‘What’ya reading?’
    Okay, not the best example of being a patient person. He couldn’t help himself, but wondering about this huge volume lying down on his bed. It looked as an old-fashioned book about some kind of magic… but in a way, it didn’t fit Willow. It just didn’t, so he got curious and as he couldn’t read the title of it, while she was covering it with her face and salivia, he decided to ask now.
    ‘What’s your plans for afternoon? Anything special?’

    Ray

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  11. ‘Well to be honest, I think I can’ he answered without any second thoughts. There were some easy steps to make it double and it wasn’t even any magical steps. He would just take an empty bed and pushed it to his own. Well, it would be painful, but what the heck. It was doable.
    ‘So why not doin’ what you do for living? I mean… you could learn how to fight and… maybe some offensive magic or something… you know, there are lots kinds of magic… which you could learn. I suppose… I’ve seen you in action, you look as if you were born on the battlefield’ he raised his eyebrow not really getting anything. Why was she studying something like that now? Why not studying something what interested her? He could not understand women, not at all.
    He shrugged his arms when she asked about his runes.
    ‘I guess, I’m doin good. I’ve read two chapters of this book’ he took the book into his hands. ‘It is quite interesting, but am not sure if I get all of it. I mean I do focus on runes and then when I read for the second time, I do focus on meaning. It is time consuming’ he laughed with embarassment. Well he was doing better, that for sure.
    ‘So I guess, I will have my exciting afternoon with runes as well. I can’t wait for it…’

    Ray

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  12. ‘Well… yes I can’ he smiled at her, but he did not move. He didn’t really want to strain his muscles. Not yet. After all he tried to listen to his own body screaming, at least sometimes. That was the only thing he could do.
    ‘I see. I guess it’s good to have some options’ he commented her words, thinking of his own way of living for a brief moment. He could imagine himself doing various stuff, but being on battlefield was the way he liked the most. It was thrilling. You had to catch the moment and live it to its fullest, because you’d never known when you would die. He loved this way of living, but on the other hand he could totaly see himself as a man who runs his own caffee or a bar. Yes, that could be something nice for the rest of his life. Maybe, when he would turn 50 or 60. When he would get bored with all the thrills the batterfield could provide him.
    ‘It’s better that you don’t know runes then’ he claimed and laughed a bit. After all he had something from a man. The man’s proud. He didn’t like not to understand something and usually preffered to do some research on his own. Well, obviously he asked for help, but only when all the options were checked. ‘I prefer to learn on my own… but if I have any questions about the content of necromancies chapters… then I will definitely ask my lovely mate, here’ he smiled.

    Ray

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  13. ‘You don’t have to think about me… I mean, I should be able to ease my own pain on my own, but I was in too much pain, I couldn’t get my magic to work and… well it’s not the first time I felt pain like that, so I’ve got used to it… thank you… thanks that you came for me’ he bursted out on just one breath. He was ashamed by his own performance back there, but hey, that’s life.
    ‘I’ll try to arrange you a meeting with that lovely person’ he choked a bit and then he streached out, feeling every single muscle. They were still burning, a little bit numb as well. He sighed a bit. That wasn’t the best feeling ever, but hey, that’s life.
    ‘Anyway… if you want to learn this healing magic… just do it’ he smiled. He didn’t mean to discourage her. He wanted her to feel good about her own skills and to do what she really wanted to do. That was what mattered in life. ‘And if you want to learn black magic or I don’t know, fire magic. Whatever magic, just do it. It is your life, WIllow. Don’t let anyone to dictate you what is right to you and what is not. You are a master of your own happiness…’
    Said the person, who struggles with his own happiness… but hey, that’s life.

    Ray

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  14. ‘Really? How did you do it? Will you show me one day? You may use my blood again’ he was curious and he didn’t think about it as something disrespectful. It was just something new to him. He craved to learn new things. ‘I would love to learn some new things’ he explained his curiosity. Ok, maybe not only because of that. He just wanted to see Willow in different aspects in her life. It would meant a lot to him if she included him in her own life.
    ‘Yeah, you’re right’ he skinned his head. ‘I need to work on it as well. Am not perfect with my fate or happiness. Still searching for it, although I think I have found hope in the dark tunel’ he reached for her hand and squized it a little bit. The truth was, no matter what happened, he was happy being with her. He was looking for another day with a smile on his face. Nothing more, just smile and he liked it very much.

    Ray

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  15. Ray nieco się zdziwił, kiedy tak wyprysła ze „szpitala”. Nie pierwszy raz już takie coś mu robiła ale pierwszy raz odczuł to tak dokładnie. Opadł nieco na poduszki, zerkając na swoje dłonie. Może nie powinien jej tak łapać? Może nie powinien aż tak na nią naciskać? Odetchnął głęboko i przetarł zmęczone oczy… a potem zobaczył ją z powrotem.
    Usiadła na swoim miejscu i wyciągnęła z torby pomarańczę. Nie pamiętał kiedy jej wspominał, że je uwielbia. Może po prostu sama to wywnioskowała, kiedy tak wpadała do jego pokoju. Chciał jej powiedzieć, że nie ma nic do ukrycia. Skomentować jej słowa dotyczące tej techniki wydobywającej wszystkie informacje na temat człowieka za pomocą jego krwi, ale zrezygnował z pomysłu.
    Patrzył na nią nieco oszołomiony, kiedy ta zaczęła troskliwie obierać owoc.
    - Dzięki – przyjął od niej pierwszy kawałek i przez dłuższy czas przeżuwał, ciesząc się jego smakiem. Nie były słodkie, tylko kwaśne. Dokładnie tak jak lubił. – Jesteś niesamowita, wiesz? I przeraża mnie ta twoja pamięć – zażartował trochę.

    Ray

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  16. Zamrugał zaskoczony, po czym odruchowo dotknął swojego prawego ucha zastanawiając się co powinien jej odpowiedzieć. Przekręcił nieco głowę w bok, po czym zjadł kolejny kawałek pomarańczy zanim ostatecznie zerknął na nią nieco poważniej.
    - Hm to dość dziwne pytanie... - przyznał w końcu. - Nie wiem, nigdy się nad tym nie zastanawiałem... a co? - zapytał jej zaraz, nie do końca wiedząc po co jej jego uszy. Co prawda wiedział o pieszczotach, ale nie podejrzewał Willow o tak niecny plan.
    - A ty masz swoje wrażliwe? - zainteresował się zaraz uśmiechając się do niej lekko. - Mogę sprawdzić? - dopytał zaraz, oblizując lekko wargi i prostując się nieco na łóżku. No dobrze, może to nie był najlepszy plan. Nie tutaj, w szpitalu, ale cholera... co mu szkodzilo? Ludzie już i tak o nich wiedzieli.

    Ray

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  17. Roześmiał się serdecznie, a potem zrobił nieco zawiedzioną minę.
    - Nie kopie się leżącego – wskazał palcem na ten jej nożyk. Zdecydowanie wolał się na niego teraz nie nadziewać, choć czuł że gdyby nalegał to Willow po prostu by mu na to pozwoliła. – Cóż… sprawdzę to kiedy indziej – uśmiechnął się szeroko, chcąc jej dać do zrozumienia, że tak czy siak, nie ucieknie przed tym. W końcu mieli jeszcze przed sobą całą podróż statkiem do Anglii. Będzie okazja do sprawdzenia. No i jakiś przytulny kącik też się znajdzie.
    - A właśnie… ty nie masz choroby morskiej czy coś, hm? – upewnił się tylko sięgając po jeszcze kawałek pomarańczy i już nie wracając tematem do jej uszu, choć teraz strasznie go one kusiły. Ich kształt wydawał się idealny, a kolor cudowny… powiedziałby nawet że mleczny, ale teraz nieco poróżowiał.
    - Chciałbym już wyjść z tego łóżka – zamarudził zaraz. – No bo tutaj nie ma co robić… jestem tu jeszcze, bo przychodzisz i mogę chociaż miło spędzić z tobą czas i patrzeć bezkarnie na twoje różowe policzki i te pełne usta. Jak je zaciskasz z niezadowoleniem, albo jak chcesz mnie uderzyć… po prostu ociekasz seksem i najchętniej to całowałbym cię całą… i tylko fakt że ktoś może nas zobaczyć, a ty tego nie lubisz… powstrzymuje mnie przed tym. No dobra, jestem też dżentelmenem – dodał po krótkim namyśle.

    Ray

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  18. - Mowilas - przypomnial sobie jak przez mgle. Moze faktycznie mowila, ale ostatnio tyle sie dzialo, ze wszystko mu sie w glowie mieszalo. No i chodzil wiecznie niewyspany, a to tez moglo byc przyczyna jego braku pamieci. Poza tym... byl facetem, do cholery, faceci nie pamietali wszystkich szczegolikow.
    Siegnal sobie po kawalek pomaranczy i omal tego nie pozalowal chwile pozniej. Jej komentarz dotyczacy ociekania seksem, sprawil ze zadlawil sie pomarancza, wybuchajac glosnym smiechem.
    - Mysle ze to nie dni plodne, tylko moja wlasna wyobraznia - usmiechnal sie szeroko. - No i to jakie uczucia do ciebie zywie po prostu - wyjasnil spokojnie, po czym odetchnal gleboko.
    - Nie wiem czy mam wrazliwe uszy, ale mozesz to sprawdzic - oblizal lekko wargi. - Tylko nie naciskaj za mocno... bo wtedy napewno beda wrazliwe, wiesz?

    Ray

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  19. Ray uśmiechnął się pod nosem, widząc jej zmieszanie i jak gdyby nigdy nic sięgnął sobie po runy. Przez dłuższą chwilę stukał palcami w twardą okładkę książki, po czym znów na nią spojrzał.
    - Szczerze to nie zwracałem uwagi na wrażliwość moich uszu – przyznał w końcu, dotykając ich teraz palcami i zastanawiając się jak to możliwe? Może bez tych wszystkich uczuć, pożądania i miłości jednocześnie, coś nie do końca grało. Wzruszył ramionami, albo po prostu był beznadziejnym przypadkiem pozbawionym tak oczywistych przyjemności.
    - Nigdy nie przyszło mi do głowy by to sprawdzić – mruknął cicho, otwierając książkę już przy drugim rozdziale i wczytując się w niego. Groźba braku pomarańczy zadziałała niczym bicz. Przesunął palcami po stronie książki biorąc do ręki jeszcze zeszyt i długopis. Spisywał sobie najważniejsze informacje, przy niektórych stawiając znak zapytania. Jedno źródło nie musiało być tym najlepszym. Zawsze warto było potwierdzić lub odrzucić możliwość.
    Milczeli tak dobrą godzinę, zanim chłopak skończył czytać ten przeklęty rozdział. I nie była to niezręczna cisza. Przynajmniej nie dla niego. Po raz pierwszy w życiu tego doświadczył. Nie musiał nic mówić, jej obecność wystarczyła by mógł czuć się bezpiecznie. Albo chociaż mieć takie wrażenie. Uśmiechnął się nieco, odkładając książkę i zeszyt na półkę.
    - Runy są męczące – wyznał robiąc przy tym minę cierpiętnika. – Nie rozumiem kto je wymyślił… i to jeszcze w tylu wersjach… te najstarsze są zwyczajnie upierdliwe. Potrzeba nieco szukania by dokopać się znaczenia – wymamrotał, wyciągając dłoń po kawałek pomarańczy. No co? Zasłużył sobie przecież.

    Ray

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  20. Ray zrobił minę zbitego kota i pociągnął lekko nosem. No żeby go tak traktować? Przecież się starał i zdecydowanie zasłużył na kawałek pomarańczy. Potarł lekko swoją dłoń, po czym opadł na poduszki nieco wypompowany. To już nawet nie chodziło o jego niechęć do run, tylko o ból żeber, które powoli zaczynały dawać mu się we znaki.
    - Nie, dzięki. Dam sobie radę bez słownika – wymamrotał tylko, wracając do książki i patrząc na te przeklęte runy nienawistnym spojrzeniem. Że też musiał uczyć się czytać nie tak dawno temu. Wciąż miał problemy z szybkim czytaniem, a zwłaszcza jeśli chodziło o te przeklęte runy.
    Trzeci rozdział poszedł mu trochę szybciej, a czwarty zainteresował. Dopiero pod jego koniec zerknął na Willow.
    - Hej, opowiedz mi o nekromancji. Tutaj piszą, że zabiera dużo sił witalnych… widziałem cię w akcji i chyba coś w tym jest, ale to reguła czy zależy od poziomu zaawansowania? – zainteresował się, obracając się nieco na łóżku by na nią spojrzeć.

    Ray

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  21. Ray listened to her while nodding his had. It was more understandable this way. He could definitely picture Willow taking some powers from the living things. In a way, he wanted to feel it as well, but on the other hand, he decided not to let her know about this kind of urge. He definitely wouldn't like to drop dead one way or another. Oh no, not a chance.
    - I guess it happens to me as well - he decided to speak aloud, while finally reaching for the orange. He put one piece of it in his mouth and chew it a bit. - I'm reaching out for my own energy, you know, from the inside... and that's why it is important for me to train the body and a soul as well, but more complicated spells are requiring much more energy than I can afford... so usually I'm touching the brains of animals or plants or whatever... to borrow their energy - he explained. It worked fine for him, unless the animals wanted to take the energy back. Borrow was not the nicest word to explain what he was doing. He was definitely stealing it, but oh well... that's life, right?
    - What is your favourite fruit or some of your addiction? My is definitely an orange - he changed the topic, just to clear his mind and breathe out. The pain in the chest was almost unbearable at that moment and he would not focus on any other topic. Specially not the necromancy topic or runes... no way in hell.

    Ray

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  22. 'Funny... it's only because I cannot walk properly...' he chuckled not buying her joke... or maybe deciding that Willow could use it in other ways as well, which might not be the greatest thing ever. It was better not to talk about it anymore.
    'You're having a sweet tooth, ain't ya?' he smiled a bit, but it was rather a pale shadow of his best smiles. 'Sorry...' he mumbled a litte bit, while covering himself with a duvet and just breathing for couple of minutes. He definitely didn't want to call Marcus. Not at all. Not for a pain like this. It was just a little bit painful. Nothing much.
    'What about ice-creams? Do you like them?' he then asked to focus on Willow, while his eyesight become a little bit blury. 'Let's have an ice-cream next time...'

    Ray

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  23. 'I don't need Marcus. It's just a pain in the chest' he claimed, but it was too late. She was gone and the next thing he remembered was Marcus next to him. Checking on him and throwing up when Marcus touched his ribs.
    'It hurts here... I cannot breathe...' he wanted to explain more, but could not. He was short of breath and just wanted to lose his conscience for a little bit.
    Marcus worked in a fast manner. He asked Willow to step aside and started to examine Ray's body. He didn't bother to ask questions, because he saw that Ray would not respond to him anyway. The pain killer was a must in this case.
    Ray woke up the next day, feeling as if he was on the crazy alcoholic ride last day. He did not complain though, or say anything. Just allowed Marcus to do his job again. He didn't even move, because he felt that it could be the case of getting worse last day. He waited for Willow to come, cause he enjoyed her company, but he knew that she had her things and life to look after, so he was patient. But when he saw her, he smiled a bit.
    'Hello again, beautiful' he whispered, though he had hoped that she did not hear that. 'Any ice-screams today? I was a good boy, but I don't think I will read today... not feeling good enough' he explained, thinking of being an idiot. Well in a way, he was.

    Ray

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  24. Something was definitely off with her. She didn't behave naturally and she didn't even comment on his remark. Well, she could not hear it. But still, he felt that something was not right.
    'Okay, so tomorrow' he smiled a bit closing his eyes and deciding not to ask. He definitely did not want to start a discussion about the responsibility and taking care about herself. Not that he was in a position to do it. He was the one who was laying on the bed after all.
    But then it escaped his mouth, a little bit unconsciously.
    'What happened to your face?' he bit his lips and then brushed through his hair. 'I mean is as beautiful as ever but... I'm just worried' he mumbled. He did not want to be rude. Not now, nor ever. He just wanted to open her up a little bit. After all, they were to be apart for a little while in just few days and he wanted to reassure her that everything is under the control. He would not waver, because his feelings were too strong for her. Oh God, he just fell for her!

    Ray

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  25. 'An argument...' he seemed not follow her there. 'Who is the bastard, who did it to you?' he tried to be patient, but he was loosing his composure. He clenched his fist and bit his lips. Normally he would embrace her, but he promised Marcus not to go out of the bed. At least not unless the emergency happened. Could he call it emergency case already? He really wanted to do it.
    Inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale.
    'You ok? I'll kill that bloody retard' he could feel the fire in his fingers and he inhaled again to remain calm and control the fire.

    Ray

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  26. [I got it, I got it girl :)]

    'Visible... what are you tryin' to say, Willow? And how can you expect me to be all calm and so... when I see you like that? And you don't make any sense of it... do you have weird dreams as I do? Did she hurt you?' he thought that it might be a case. After all, he was not dreaming about her while he was here. Maybe, just maybe, she decided to go on his beloved one? He gritted his teeth. Well it could be possible after all, but not always everything was connected to him.
    He smiled shortly and sat on the bed, ignoring the pain in his chest. He would deal with it later on. Now, she was more important than that.
    'So who did it? And why are you sayin' is nothing? It's clearly not ok...' he blurted it out. 'Clearly not all right...'

    Ray

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